Emotional Rollercoaster

So, by Day Two on the unemployment ride, my emotions were all over the place, like characters in a Tim Burton movie. One minute I was relieved, the next minute I was panicky. I felt anxiety, joy, cravings for Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls for comfort, as well as feeling gleeful and angry all in the same inhale. I was fighting the urge to stay in my jammies all day in the fetal position, so I decided to go to the gym and make working out my “job” for a while. It definitely helps to exercise and also to be around people. I made sure to make lots of lunch dates and to babysit for people. The worst thing you can do for coping with unemployment is to hole up in your house and be alone. I was lucky that they holidays were upon us and there were lots of places to be and things to do to keep me occupied and not wallowing in self-pity. The pity party would be scheduled for after the holidays. And I throw a really mean pity party when I want to, complete with an Evite and party favors.

I was also fortunate to not be living alone. I had two soon-to-be stepsons coming home from school every day at two so I had to be upbeat by the time they came in the door. I was freaked out enough, I didn’t need to freak anyone else out about it. My fiance was great, so supportive and really got me down off that ledge quickly about the whole thing. I can’t imagine where I would be if this had happened to be earlier in my life, when I was still single and living alone. Probably a hot mess, I would have to guess. But having no debt really helps a lot as well as being in a great relationship and having kids around to make you know it’s not all about you and that you will survive. The key was to focus on the positive and to not use food to feel better.(Come on women, you know we all do it.) I also didn’t have the pressure of being the head of the household like men do when they lose their jobs.

Counting your blessings….it sounds cliche, but it really helps you make it through the rain.

Being Type A, I immediately starting putting my resume together and up on LinkedIn, Monster, Careerbuilder. I think I had 40 jobs I applied to those first couple days. Then I pulled the plug and realized I needed to STOP AND REGROUP before I did any of this. I had to still process that I was at the same company for the first 18 years of my career and now I wasn’t. You really need to pause before heading on to something else. I also had to sit and Google all the acronyms for all the job descriptions that were out there in my field. I found out that SEO was just the same thing we were doing in my line of work but had never called it that. I  had to first reinvent myself using all the right acronyms and job titles to match what people wanted, but it all takes some time. I also decided I had no need for any job description that included the word Six Sigma or any other mumbo jumbo that gets thrown out there. It’s not about just deciding what you can do, you really need to know what you can’t or don’t want to to. I think I am in touch with that classic Lloyd Dobler riff in “Say Anything:

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”

Though unlike Lloyd,  I don’t want to be a kickboxer either.

So I started to BREATHE and to LET GO of where I used to be. And also to figure out, what DID I really want to be when I grew up……


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. saltygirl2011
    Dec 27, 2013 @ 15:46:29

    I was so glad to come across your blog. Having recently been thrown into unemployment it is great to read of other’s battle to deal with all the emotions that come with it!


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