Take Me To The Other Side

It’s always nice to look at a hard situation once you are on the other side. The relief! The stress seems like a memory. We all go through hard things in life, everyone has different situations they have to plow through. Yet somehow we all survive. There are those small moments in life that build. You never think you will get your first kiss, your first job, you’ll never get married,  never have a baby, you’ll never survive your kids’ teenage years,  you’ll never be able to retire. But we all get there. Admittedly, there is a guilty pleasure in reminiscing the anguish….but only long after the pain is so acute.

My mantra when I was unemployed was “Take me to the other side!” I also sang it aloud Steven Tyler-style just for emphasis. I knew that even though those awful nine months seemed eternal while I was living it, eventually I would be on the other side looking back at it, instead of staring it right in the face. I still have a little fear lurking that sometime in the future the same thing will happen again. Not a crippling fear, but a little cloud that throws a shadow on my sunshine sometimes.

Pushing through to make it inch by inch to the other side, a daunting task. Many things in life are hard, to me being unemployed was so hard because it was a loss of identity. You define who you are by what you do. At the time I lost my job, I wasn’t married and I wasn’t a mother. For women, it’s so easy to have at least those two labels, because as we all know, being a wife and mother IS a job. Because I was engaged and planning a wedding, I think people thought it was FUN and LUCKY for me to be unemployed. I guess those people were the ones who never saw me wandering aimlessly through the local Target store trying to pass the time or slumped at my desk over the computer, silently screaming inside my head.

Your job, for the most part, becomes the central theme to your identity. Who are you without your job? When people ask you to describe someone you know, you will say “oh, he’s a writer” or “she’s an accountant.” It’s usually not a description of your personality that is your first impression, it’s usually that you “are” something that you get paid to do. While I was unemployed, it was a lot of work and soul-searching to figure out who I “was” and who I wanted “to be”. The process of self-discovery is as much work as any job.

So, who “are” you? I like to think that I “am” a special events coordinator, a writer, a renegade, a wife, a stepmother. Mostly though, I “am” happy…with who I “am”! I am Kelly. More adjectives to come….


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. J DUBBS
    Oct 12, 2010 @ 04:56:09

    you’re totally right about looking at a difficult situation once you get over the hurdle. i hope i get over this unemployment hurdle soon cause it’s driving me CRAZY.


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